Bruce Vilanch

Bruce Vilanch
Photo by Ron Krisel



Heard on the show: Pre-emptive Surrender Pre-emptive Surrender: Um, I don't think it works like that.

Gray-matter Upgrade Gray-matter Upgrade: World's first brain prosthesis revealed.

The Agency The Agency: Who are the people in your neighborhood?

Hubba Hubba Hubba Hubba: Tight police uniforms worn by actual police.



NPR

March 15, 2003


 Listen to the whole show

Take the quiz

NPR



HOST: Peter Sagal
OFFICIAL JUDGE AND SCOREKEEPER: Carl Kasell
NOT MY JOB GUEST: Bruce Vilanch, gag writer, and star of the new documentary Get Bruce. You'll hear his jokes when the stars hit the stage at the Academy Awards. He's also going on the road in the musical Hairspray.

This Week's Panelists:

• Sue Ellicott, journalist
• Adam Felber, writer and performer
• Charlie Pierce, Boston Globe writer

Round 1


Who's Carl This Time? (Listen)
The Bush administration shows up without its algebra; Freedom's just another word for wasting the government's time; Even worse than a revival of Cats.

» Music Cue: "Please Don't Monkey With Broadway"
Artist: Fred Astaire and George Murphy
Composer: Porter
CD Title: That's Entertainment
Label: Rhino



Opening Round (Listen)
Iraqi soldiers get ahead of the curve; Iraq shows the world its model building prowess; A pizza emergency!; Cops even hotter than Dennis Franz.

» Music Cue: "I'm Too Sexy"
Artist: Right Said Fred
Composer: Fairbrass/Mazoli/Fairbrass
CD Title: Up
Label: Charisma



Round 2

Bluff the Listener (Listen)
"Howdy Neighbor!" Three stories about neighborliness in the news.

Not My Job! (Listen)
Bruce Vilanch, the guy who writes the jokes for the Academy Award telecast, plays a game called, "You're Michael Anthony Orlando Cassicitis." Three questions about 70's pop star Tony Orlando taken from his autobiography, Halfway to Paradise.

» Music Cue: "Tie A Yellow Ribbon"
Artist: Tony Orlando and Dawn
CD Title: 70's Party Killers
Label: Rhino



Round 3

Guess the Newsmaker (Listen)
Peter leads the panel through a game in which they have to guess a newsmaker's identity by asking him yes and no questions.

» Music Cue: "Both Sides Now"
Artist: Judy Collins
Composer: Joni Mitchell
CD Title: A Century of Women in Music
Label: Rhino



Listener Limerick Challenge (Listen)
Mad science comes to mind; No hunks, no ripping bodices; what's the point?; flirtin' on the farm.

» Music Cue: "Afternoon Delight"
Artist: Starland Vocal Band
Composer: Bill Danoff
CD Title: 70's Party Killers
Label: Rhino



Lightning Fill-In-The-Blank (Listen)
All the news we couldn't fit anywhere else.

Panelist Predictions (Listen)
How will France get back at the U.S. for renaming "french fries" as "freedom fries".

Take the quiz