A Quick Caveat From the Doyenne
So what do I know about holiday shopping? Not much. We got socks on Hanukah and hid in Chinese restaurants on Christmas. But I do know a few things about shopping, so I will say this: If you haven’t a clue what the gardeners in your life want, get them gift certificates to their favorite nurseries (or mine). Trust me, you can stop right there. However, if you’re looking for a good time and a great gift, read on…

Garden Essentials

Gardentalk.com

This is an unpaid endorsement: Every gardener must have Felco pruners, never mind the price. I’m left-handed and swear by my #9; my friend Tom Fischer at Horticulture Magazine swears by #7 (“swiveling ergonomic handles much less wear and tear on your wrist”). You can get Felcos everywhere; prices vary. If you happen to shop at Alice’s Garden Shop, don’t miss her hemp twine (ah, memories).

English Poacher's Spade

Whether it’s called a poacher’s spade or a perennial spade or who knows what, I cannot garden without this tool. Perfect for popping out perennials at a moment’s notice without leaving a trace of chaos behind. I’ve seen some perfectly good versions in the better nurseries if you’re not Smith & Hawken inclined.

Garden Boots

Much to my chagrin, both my sisters and one of my best friends covet these silly boots from Solutionscatalog.com. I’ve already ordered a pair of the frogs, though my own preference would be something humorless, e.g., Wellington boots. Nevertheless, both frogs and bugs are wholly hose-down-able and yeah, O.K., they’re cute.

Frog Pants

Maybe you could wear your frog boots and your frog pants while cleaning out your frog pond (What’s with all the frogs this year? And all the pugs?) These gloves from Ultimate Goods are said to keep you dry to the elbows, no matter what you’re dredging through. This can only be a good thing on a cold, nasty day.

Boreas Photo: Richard W. Rogers of Brothers Herbs & Tree Peonies

I asked author Michael Pollan (Second Nature, A Place Of My Own) what he wanted for Hanukah. Along with 50,000 gallons of water for his new pond, he’d never pass up a tree peony "because they're too expense to buy for yourself, because they last forever, and because they're such a powerful presence in the garden you'll never forgot who gave it to you." In addition to Brothers Herbs & Peonies, look into Cricket Hill Farms.

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High End Gift Ideas

Hosta Leaves

Garden art is a sometimes thing. Sometimes it’s tacky, sometimes it’s trendy, and every once in a while, it’s timeless. I am completely besotted with everything produced by Little and Lewis (in the interest of disclosure, I should add that I am also besotted with them). These concrete hosta leaves are the smallest of their wares and the easiest to ship.
 

Mr. Can Man

One of the many whimsical creatures hatched whole from the mind of Haas Sculpture Studios. You can lose yourself for days at his website (and lose your shirt in no time at all). He has ample smaller pieces, but for my money, I’d save up for some of his wackier work.

 

Roman Arc ®

I can’t vouch for the quality – I’ll leave the research to you – but the design of this Florida Plants hammock seems particularly inviting. One could argue that hammocks are a dubious gift since gardeners rarely sit still, but if you’ve tried everything else to get a gardener's attention, this might do the trick.
 

Banded Collana

O.K., now we’re getting serious. As astonishing as it seems, the artists at Lunaform out of Maine can and do ship their thousand-pound pots (though this gorgeous blue figure is a mere 250 pounds). Prices are breathtaking, but so is the work (it costs nothing to peruse the website, so be sure you do). I’d say this is about as good as giving gets.

Penguin with Goat Head

 

Thea Joselow, my effusive online content developer, calls Frank Fleming’s 19" high Penguin With Goat Head "a garden gnome for dot.com millionaires." If you visit his website, and you’re frog-inclined, don’t miss the Orb Structure. Be forewarned, the prices for his bronze sculptures are not for the weak of wallet.

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And Now for the Kitsch

We've got interns Joy Collman and Hogan Carter to thank for much of what follows. See what a Lewis and Clark College education could have done for you?

The Happy Couple

Now tell me, have you ever seen anything quite as awful and amazing as this heavy-breasted feline from Florida Plants? Her partner’s name is Lawn Doggy and I can assure you, my beagle is not amused.

Desert Sierra

Then again, this sombrero fountain is almost as deliciously dreadful without being quite as embarrassing (what is this Florida Plants buyer on?) It’s a tough choice for the kitsch-crazed gardener, unless...

Ten Commandments

He’s Jewish! In which case, why not break all the rules (groan) and buy him this wall plaque from A Touch Of Decorating. Go ahead, I dare you.

Wacky Retro

These garden stakes are just plain fun on a stick. You’ve probably noticed that stakes are quite the rage these days, though few are quite this clever, thank you Apparatus Iron. The perfect gift for all you elbow-elbow-wrist-wrist folks.

Birdhouse

From the sublime to the ridiculous - or in this case from the Urban Gardener - here's a birdhouse for the hunter-gatherer in your life. It’s not my favorite – I prefer the British Bobby Hat – but I can't deny the sordid twist of birds seeking shelter in this beastkiller’s bonnet.
 

Sprinkler

Finally, from Magic Mushroom Garden Statuary, we have – can you guess? – sprinkler heads! I’m not sure these are bad enough to be kitsch but they are momentarily irresistible.

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