Garden writing is often very tame, a real waste when you think how opinionated, inquisitive, irreverent and lascivious we gardeners tend to be. Nobody writes much about the muscular limbs, dark, swollen buds, strip-tease trees and unholy beauty that has made us all slaves to the Goddess Flora. Now that’s Talking Plants.

Many of the Plant Profiles featured here are in Plant This! Best Bets For Year-Round Gorgeous Gardens. I mention this in case you hate sitting in front of a screen and would rather sit reading by the fire (sipping in Rene Eisenbart's gorgeous watercolor illustrations). As you might expect, I've focused on plants that thrive in my own backyard (Portland, Oregon, USDA Z8). Nevertheless, quite a few of these beauties are hardy to zero degrees.

Without further ado, then, let me introduce some members of horticulture’s royal families, organized in alphabetical order. I’m typing as fast as I can, but there’s a lot of stories to tell here, so be sure to check back weekly until the whole gang’s online.